The Uzumaki Identity
by closet fan 16
Summary: A Naruto story inspired by the Bourne Identity. NOT a crossover. Just similar situational plot. Roll with it. Review if you want it to continue. Have fun! closet fan 16
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything involcing Jason Bourne, Naruto, or any subsidiaries. Duh.

A Naruto story inspired by the Bourne Identity. NOT a crossover. Just similar situational plot. Roll with it. Review if you want it to continue. Have fun!

IMPORTANT THINGS I'M DOING WITH THIS FIC

Naruto, and everyone else is 18.

Everyone gets a power up. Even Naruto, (who really deserves one).

Konoha, and the whole Naruto Universe exists alongside our own "real world" in secret.

Sorry, but the Kyuubi only gets minimal airtime in this fic. It'll make things too muggy and complicated.

"**The object in life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." **_**Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor.**_

**The Uzumaki Identity**

Chapter 1

Vladimir loved cards. Especially when there was nothing else to do. Sitting on a barrel, around a wet, swollen table with his friends was most enjoyable. The storm may be raging outside, their small fishing ship may be battered with waves and wind, this gale might go on for hours, but he couldn't be happier here and now, sitting with five clubs in his hand. The wager was big; two king packs of cigarettes, half a 

roll of dry toilet paper, and a Sport's Illustrated only three months old. Vlad looked left, right, and slapped his hand on the table.

"Ha! Flush!"

Reaching to acquire his much desired toilet paper, the thick hand of the captain reached out and grabbed his wrist. Grinning, the heavyset fishing captain slowly set his hand down. Four Kings.

"Sorry, Vladdy. Tonight's not your night!"

The rest of the crew roared with laughter, as Vlad watched the promise of enjoyable bathroom-ing slip through his fingers. The captain pulled out a cigarette and flicked it at Vlad, hitting him in the forehead.

"On the house."

The laughter of the crew redoubled as Vlad stood up.

"I'm going out for a smoke, deal me in next hand."

Sour, Vlad stomped up to the deck, lighting his pity-smoke and staring out at the raging French seas. Scanning the water, he saw a dim shadow off the starboard side. Leaning out from the cover of the roof to get a better view, Vlad felt the smoke get bombarded with rain pellets, snuffing out the flame, rendering it useless.

"Fuck," he muttered, stalking over to the edge and flicking the cigarette into the sea. The moment he turned to go back, a red flash emanated from the water. Crying out, Vlad stared back. The shadow, just moments ago bathed in a red light, now was dim again, the flash disappearing as quick as it came. He now saw clearly what was in the water. A body.

For perhaps five seconds Vlad stood, dumfounded. The he snapped to his senses, racing downstairs to tell the crew to get the net.

…..

_Uhhhh…oh jesus, my back. Fuuuuuck, I'm cold._

Dim images and sensations ran across his wet face. Nothing coming into focus, nothing familiar. He felt rough hands carrying him. They weren't doing a very good job. There was a lot of bobbing and tipping. He felt nausea rise up, and was too weak to fight it. Then the pain in his back spiked as whoever was carrying him set him down. Tilting his head, he vomited out everything, then slipped back into blackness…

…….Three weeks later……

The blond teen winced as tender but calloused hands pulled at the dressing on his back.

"Ahhh…easy Vlad! Those aren't just scrape wounds, you know!"

The fisherman gave a deep laugh. "And I thought you'd be tougher, surviving eight knives stuck in the back. Listen to you, whining like a pussy!"

"Eh, shadap."

With one last tug, the last dressing was removed. Twisting around Naruto stared at his back in the mirror. The scars were still a bit tender, but they'd healed nicely. He mentally smiled a bit.

_Having eight knife scars makes for some badass story material._

Reaching out, Naruto took his shirt back, sliding the rough grey fabric back over his rippling body. He may not remember anything about himself or his past, but he still had some impulses, such as to work out like an animal for three hours a day.

Striding back on deck, Naruto paused to breathe more fresh sea air before putting his feet on land. Vlad came up to join him, nudging Naruto's bag with his foot.

"So, you're sure you want to leave us? You have no memories, no plan, no belongings-"

Naruto cut him off. "Hey now, I've got eight lovely sharp souvenirs in that backpack!"

Naruto meant it as a joke, but saw Vlad go a tad pale.

"You almost died out on that sea. Someone meant to kill you. One knife is a message. Five knives is overkill. Eight is to make DAMN sure."

Naruto understood his friend's concern. But concern wasn't enough to stop him.

"There's no chance I'll remember who I am if I stay on this boat. I need to get out there. Looking on land near where you found me is as good a plan as any."

Vlad knew he couldn't stop him. So he tried to help him. Any way he could.

"So…the dream is still the same?"

Naruto averted his eyes. "I'm sure it's a memory. It's too real to not be. A flash of black, a flash of pink, pain in my back, and a scream."

Vlad echoed the scream with a soft whisper. " 'Naruto…' "

Naruto looked back. "That memory, that scream…it was full of anguish and sadness. That memory gave me back my name. I'm sure if I go looking for the girl that screamed my name, I'll remember more."

Vlad gave a weak smile. "My friend. The French coast is kind and hospitable. But Paris…Marseilles…they have gangsters, mafia, danger. Perhaps you were mixed up with them. Perhaps you can't remember, so you can start fresh."

Naruto couldn't deny his words. But they wouldn't change his mind.

"I'm sorry, my friend. But I need to."

The boat touched the dock and Naruto grabbed his pack. Vlad shoved five hundred pounds into his hand.

"That's my share from this trip. Take it. I don't need it, and we go out again in two weeks anyway."

Naruto wanted to say no, take your money back, but he knew he'd need it. So with a few words of thanks and goodbye, Naruto stepped off to boat into a brave new world.

_Well, let's see where this goes._

…..Eighteen days later…..

Naruto felt like an idiot. He'd wandered around small port towns, taverns, and shipyards for almost a month, and he was getting nowhere. All he had was a name, (his own) and eight knives. Naruto had gone to weapon shops, bars, even museums, and no one recognized anything remotely familiar about them. The only lead he got was that they were throwing knives, they were rare, and not used anywhere near France.

But that wasn't the real reason he was angry. He'd expected to come up short. He'd emotionally prepared for it. What he wasn't ready for was all of his impulses returning. It all started in a restaurant, sixteen days ago. There were three families sitting near his table. Three different languages at the same 

time, really fast. He'd picked up on every word. Later, at the hostel, he tried speaking French. Fluent. German. Fluent. Japanese. REALLY fluent. He'd stared dumbfounded into the mirror.

_Huh?_

Later, at a bar, he found he could size everyone up. How they would fight, how fast or strong or smart they were, how likely it was they would fight. It just came to him. This happened steadily from then on. Driving, swimming, math, charts and maps, it came to him like clockwork. But no memories. And it was driving him MENTAL.

Then, two days ago, for kicks in a bar, he picked up one of the knives in his bag and started playing with it. He was like a fucking surgeon. Flipping it over his hand, twirling it in a blur between his fingers, changing grips and positions, and throwing it at a dart board in the bar. Perfect bull's-eye. He apologized, paid for the dartboard and left, head buzzing with frustration and questions. Questions he was beginning to thing would never be answered.

He was out of money and out of ideas. Sleeping on a park bench, he felt his emotions rising to a boiling point.

The French cops chose the exactly wrong night and guy to send a message to the homeless of the area. Marching up to Naruto, they prodded him VERY unkindly and began snarling at him. Naruto moaned and sat up, belly aching with hunger he muttered at them.

"Non, aucun officier. Je n'ai pas de papiers."

They weren't listening. Furious, Naruto reverted to English, trying to keep his voice level.

"No, no officer. I don't have any papers."

They jabbed him in the chest with their Billy Clubs and started shouting.

"DE PAPIERS?!"

Naruto lost it.

"I DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING-"

It happened faster than even Naruto could remember. One of them swung the stick at his head. Naruto caught him at the wrist, and twisting the cop's arm, broke it. Before the other one even knew what was happening, Naruto kicked him in the knee, bringing him down, then kicked him in the temple, knocking him out. He released the other cop's busted arm and chopped him in the neck. He went down like a bag of sand. Standing, Naruto wasn't even breathing hard, and in less than a second, incapacitated two armed cops when he was tired and hungry. Panicking, afraid of himself, Naruto tore off into the night. He got six blocks before he realized he wasn't tired, even at full sprint.

_I need answers, and I need them now._

…..

"Monsieur, bougez s'il vous plaît ."

_Erm…'sir, please move.' That's it._

Opening his eyes, Naruto saw a little French girl standing over him. Sheilding his eyes, he muttered at her.

"Oui, oui."

Standing and stretching, Naruto walked over to a street-trailer book stand. Desperation started setting in. He knew so much and could do so much, and he still only had a half-conscious memory to his name.

_Oi, I need to relax._

Looking in the fiction section for a laugh, he browsed some foreign works. A porno book from Germany caught his eye. He looked through the pages, chuckling. He hadn't smiled in days.

_I can't believe this stuff actually get's published._

The toothless shop-keep smiled and spoke in rough English to him.

"Ah. You like, eh? Try this. From…ah, east. Far east. It in other language, but if you can understand, VERY funny!"

Naruto accepted the book with a huge grin.

_Jeez, it's the porno that binds us. Hmmm, what a name! Come come paradise. Yeash, you'd think they'd be more original._

And Naruto flipped open the book to page one…


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: don't own Naruto. Also, this chapter has PLENTY of bad language. Which is why it's T. Anyone has a problem, I'll raise it to M.

Author's note: This chapter moves kinda fast at the beginning, because I need to get somewhere before it can get interesting.

Well, like it? No? I'm updating really fast because I know a story needs to be near the top of the list for a long time before lots of people read it. I've actually written this chapter before I even posted chapter one. I figured "post twice in 24 hours and see how it goes." But if I don't get any reviews, there's no point continuing. I personally love this story. I have tons of twists and ideas to keep going. All I need is an audience. Please? Review?

Chapter 2

It hit him harder that a sack of bricks. Images, memories without context or meaning. An old man, dressed REALLY weird, laughing about something perverted-

_Damn hermit…HOLY SHIT WHERE DID THAT MEMORY COME FROM?!_

Perverted hermit. Ero-sanin. Sensei. Names without meaning, but the meaning just lay beneath the surface. The picture on the book flap was that of a sensei of his. Jiraya. Toads. East. Leaf Village. Konoha.

As quickly as they came, the random images left him. But it left him with more information that he could have ever dreamed. He had a destination, and the name and face of someone he knew and who taught him.

_Taught me what?_

_Well, I can fight, run, speak however many languages, read charts, hide, maybe he's like a secret agent trainer._

…_Not with those clothes._

But he now knew he had to head east, to some place called Konoha, and find someone named Jiraya, aka Perverted Hermit.

For a lark, he started reading through the rest of the book. Not expecting anything big, just enjoying being close to something about himself. He saw another book by the same author. Grabbing it, he saw the title.

_The Tale of the Gusty Ninja_

Naruto only got to page one. Then he almost dropped the book and passed out.

_My name. My name, right there in this book. So I AM Naruto! That memory IS real!!_

In higher spirits than he'd been all month, Naruto marched out of the book stand and towards the train station. Searching for a train, he picked one heading for Greece. As far east as possible. He picked up some world maps, looked on a free internet browser, but nothing came up on Konoha. Slightly dejected, Naruto suddenly realized he had no money to pay for a ticket. Panicked, the train leaving in ten minutes, he suddenly made a sporadic decision, that on the surface seemed crazy, but he knew it was the most logical for HIM.

_Just jump on the roof of the train._

Something gripped him. A crazy, zany glee that was somehow so familiar. Nicking a few bagels discreetly for a snack, Naruto left the station and climbed a fire escape to the roof. He saw the train pull out, willed it, and jumped. It was an impressive jump. Nothing super human, but impressive. Landing on the roof, he sat down quite pleased with himself. Hiking his jacket up over his head and turning his back to the wind, Naruto found a comfy groove in the steel roof paneling and bit into a warm bagel.

_This is gonna be okay._

……

_Man, this sucks._

Five hours in, the bagels long gone, Naruto was cold, uncomfortable, had to pee, and felt like every small bump and jar of the train would throw him off.

_Screw it._

Climbing down, Naruto slid to the rear car, climbed inside, and walked calmly on board. It was a very nice train. Velvet carpet, soft Baroque music, friendly yellow lights.

_First stop, BATHROOM!_

…..

Enjoying the inside far more than the outside, Naruto sat alone in a private trolley, sipping hot apple cider and demolishing a tray of brownies.

_MAN, this is the life._

Sadly, the high life ended abruptly when the ticket checker came around and promptly threw him off the train.

"Ne montrez jamais votre visage ici de nouveau, le clochard!"

"Yeah, charming. Thanks."

Walking towards a street sight, Naruto tried to get his bearings.

"Venice. I'm in Venice."

_Well, let's find some food. I feel like Japanese. Maybe noodles?_

…….

Sai sprinted down the corridors to his superior's office. He really didn't want to break the news, but at the same time, he was relieved. Yet the fact that Naruto was still alive meant something much worse would happen to him. Yet to find out that Naruto was here and now alive was relieving. Quickly wiping his face of emotion, he knocked.

"Enter."

Sai pulled the door open, into a dimly lit room.

"Iruka-san. Naruto Uzumaki has been spotted on a train leaving France. He's somehow alive."

Iruka, sporting three new facial scars rose from his desk, furious.

"I ordered that hit almost a month ago. NOW we find out he's alive?! JESUS!"

Sai forced himself not to tremble. Iruka furious was a very bad thing, especially when you're within 50 feet.

Fortunately, the ninja leader sat down, still fuming, but in a calm, controlled manner.

"Okay, he somehow survived. First off, get me the team that ordered the hit. I'll…inform them of this debacle. Next, call everyone we have in the field. Activate all agents."

Sai froze, both confused, stunned, intrigued, and frightened.

"All, at the same time?!"

"Yes, Sai. Don't make me repeat myself. I want Uzumaki in a body bag at my feet by sundown tomorrow."

Sai saluted. "Yes sir!" Bolting from the room, Sai gave the order to a befuddled staff, then ran off to the barracks. He had to get equipped himself… to kill one of his best friends.

CODE FIVE, PROITITY EIGHT. ALL FIELD AGENTS OF "FLAIR" ACTIVE.

CODENAME:

PROFESSOR

HUSKY

BLOOM

SERPANT

GREEN ANGEL

VAN GOGH

NEXUS

THE HIVE

COLOSSUS

ANGE SANS AILES

WHITE DEMON

ACTIVE, MOBILE AND ASSIGNED.

TARGET:

CODCAME:

EVIL ANGEL aka NARUTO UZUMAKI

OBJECTIVE: PASSIFY WITH EXTREAM PREJUDICE

SECONDARY OBJECTIVE: RETURN WITH AT LEAST 60 OF CARCASS IN TACT.

………..

Walking through Japanese town in Venice, Naruto felt oddly at home. Thus just fueled his belief that he was from the east. From Konoha, whatever it was or wherever it was. Stomach growling, Naruto knew he needed some money. He didn't want to, but he only had eight possessions in the world worth any money. Marching into a pawn shop, Naruto drew out two of the throwing knives he had in his bag. It felt odd to part with them. They were the bridge, the connector between his forgotten past and his current future. Still, even a traveling amnesiac needs to eat.

Walking out of the pawn shop, two knives short, but with enough money for a few decent meals and a shower, Naruto made a beeline for the nearest Japanese noodle hut.

"Hey mister. What's good?"

The weathered man smiled. "Oh, everything, of course. But what do you say to some Ramen?"

_Hmmm…Ramen?_

He shrugged. "Naw, sounds gross."

The man looked highly affronted. "I insist you try this dish on the house."

In no position to turn down a free meal, Naruto graciously accepted. Snapping apart a pair of chopsticks, he plunged into the steaming dish of noodles and pork, and lifted the first bite to his lips.

A grenade went off in his skull. Ramen, Iruka Sensei, Kakasi Sensei, Tsunade, Sai, Konohamaru, ninja academy, ninjutsu, taijutsu, gengutsu, Kage Bushin No-Jutsu, headband, Saskue…SASUKE, battle of the end, training for two years, Akatsuki, Gaara, Chio Baasama, Assuma, Shikamaru, Jiraya's death, training with the toads, senjutsu...KYUUBI.

These thoughts may have come in an instant, or perhaps hours. Naruto awoke at the food of the noodle bar, slowly rising to his feet. Naruto paused, looking at the frightened cook. He smiled.

"That ramen's good shit."

Walking away, Naruto breathed air he never thought he would understand again.

_I am Naruto Uzumaki, shinobi for Konoha, and the next Hokage._

He was mostly himself again. But there were gaps. After returning from his training on Toad Mountain and fighting Pain, (with the leader of Akatsuki escaping,) all continuous memory ceased. But he knew there was more. He felt it. He was only sixteen when his memory's stopped, and he knew he was 18 now. Also, the question he wanted the answer to the most didn't come.

_Who is that pink flash? Who screamed my name?_

Frowning, he delved back into his first memory. It was still hazy. He was in the water, weak from battle. Two figures stood on higher ground. One was the pink blur, the other, the black blur, was-

"SASUKE, YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!"

Naruto was so angry he nearly let the Kyuubi slip out. Breathing deeply, he brought his heart rate down, but didn't quell his anger. He best friend, his BROTHER, tried and damn near succeeded in killing him. After all he'd sacrificed, after all his trust and belief and UNWAVERING loyalty, that Uchiha cunt literally stabbed him in the back. His hands shook, his eyes welled up with tears, his shoulders trembled.

_Never again, you asshole. I'm no longer your friend. No longer your brother. I'm NEVER there for you again. And I swear, for what you've done to me, I'm gonna return the favor, REALLY fucking soon._

He wanted answers, and was determined to get them. There was only one option. Back to Konoha. Question everyone. And if he met Sasuke…

_So much better for me, SO much worse for him._

Remembering all training as of when he was sixteen, Naruto took off at breakneck pace; hatred of Sasuke in his heart, and questions of the pink blur in his mind.

……..

Sai reported in via ink mouse.

_Iruka, there are two agents in the immediate vicinity of Naruto Uzumaki. Nexus and Professor. Nexus will engage first, with Professor providing backup within ten minutes. The rest of us are in position to ensure Uzumaki will not escape our perimeter, in diameter of eight kilometers. We await any change in order. Van-Gogh out._

Iruka sighed and placed his fingers on his temples.

_If I'd known we'd be in this situation eight years ago, I would have killed you the moment you walked into my classroom._


End file.
